Driving With The Monk!
by Atarashila
Summary: What happens when Chichiri drives to take Tamahome and Tasuki to Burger King? ...And why is Tasuki so nervous around the police? This story involves my favorite characters : Tasuki, Tamahome, and Chichiri. Review please!


(This is based on a true story... Though the names have been changed to protect the innocent... Also to have a little fun with! Oh, and I don't own any of these characters, though I wish I did! They all belong to the Great and Wonderful Ms. Watase! ...Except for the two officers, and this far-fetched story; they were my creation... )

**Driving With The Monk**

"Man, he's been following us all damn morning!" Tasuki exclaimed irrationally as he looked over his shoulder to peek through the backseat window behind him.

Chichiri sighed as he continued to drive the car, "Just ignore him, no da."

It was one in the morning, which really didn't give Tasuki's griping much to be fueled with. The night was freezing cold and so dark that the lights on the streets barely could be seen. Chichiri was stuck driving the car, since it did belong to him and he refused anyone else to be behind the wheel. His driving buddies were Tamahome and Tasuki.

Tamahome was starving even though it was late, the poor guy was worked to death from his job. To add to the situation, he had no conception of time anymore. Still, at least Miaka and the baby were being cared for, and their lifestyle was rather pleasent at the time. So, in the end, it led to dragging Chichiri out to take him and getting some food before heading home from work.

Tasuki stayed, planted in the backseat, petting Tama, the kitten that was entrusted to Chichiri's care. He remembered that upon leaving the house, the monk refused to leave the cat alone for even a second. With the cat being the last living connection Chichiri had to the other defeated warriors, Tasuki realized the monk's responsibility for caring for the Tama. Still, the bandit didn't believe it was necessary to bring him along for the trip to be pick up Tamahome, from work.

Tamahome rocked a little from the front passanger seat. "Turn right up here – No! Left!"

Chichiri swerved over from the right lane and imediatly jerked his car to the left. He turned and shouted at his cause of distress. "Tamahome!"

Tamahome shrank chibishly to the other side of the car. "Sorry."

Tasuki was partially thrown to one side as well. He picked up Tama just as the police car's lights began to flash in his eyes. He frowned at sight and looked back to the driver.

"Damn. Looks like we're busted, Chichiri."

Chichiri groaned as he put on his blinker. This was not something he was hoping for this night. Then again, who would hope to be pulled over at one o'clock in the middle of the blistering cold dead of night? Finding a spot to pull over, Chichiri placed his car in park and waited for the officer to pull up behind him.

"Hey! What gives? There's more of them now.." Tamahome looked around with slight worry. He saw a second police car follow up behind the first one. He wasn't sure what to expect, but the thought of two police cars just wasn't good.

The three waited for an officer to step up to the car. A bright light shined in the backseat window while the officer had peered in from outside. Tama stood on all four paws and hissed. He did not like intruders, and he especially didn't like the bright light.

Tasuki yelped slightly from all of Tama's claws digging into his leg. He tried to calm the cat down, but was getting no where fast.

Tamahome turned slightly around to Tasuki and snapped, "Shut the cat up, Tasuki!"

"I'm trying," Tasuki retorted.

"I hope you know, Tamahome, that this is all your fault, no da," Chichiri sighed as he rolled down his window to speak with the officer.

The police officer shined the light harshly into the monk's eyes. Chichiri quickly pulled away and quickly closed his eyes from the light. He hadn't gotten used to it, and the feeling left him think he was close to being a vampire.

"Have you been drinking tonight?" The officer asked over Tama's hisses and low growls.

"No, Sir, no da," Chichiri quickly answered.

"Are there any drugs or weapons in this vehicle?"

"No, Sir, no da."

"Are you sure you haven't been drinking? You keep saying funny things at the end of your sentences."

"...It's a speech impediment, no da."

"And I can see a glazed look in your eyes."

"I'm...wearing a mask, no da..."

The officer seethed, "...Take off the mask."

Chichiri frowned, "I feel like I'm being discriminated against, no-"

The officer seethed louder, "Take off the mask, I said!"

"We haven't done anything, Officer," Tasuki said almost to the tone of a complaint.

"Hey, I can call and have the dogs search this vehicle if you refuse to cooperate." The police threatened after noticing the cat angrily hissing back at him.

"There's no need for the dogs," the monk said as he slowly removed his mask. "I can assure you there are no drugs, weapons, or opened containers of any sort in my vehicle, no da."

"What have we even been pulled over for?" Tamahome asked impatiently.

"You made an illegal lane change!" The officer snapped back at Tamahome; then he was interrupted by the second officer approaching.

The second officer guided his partner away from the car, though having to deal with his protests.

"They've got a glazed look in their eyes," the rebelious officer proclaimed.

The second officer nodded and walked back to the vehicle. He looked inside the window towards the driver and began his own interrogation.

"Sir, have you been drinking tonight?"

Before Chichiri could speak, Tasuki shouted in a complaint. "We've already freakin' been asked that!"

"Shut up, Tasuki!" Tamahome said warningly over his shoulder.

Chichiri groaned and hit his head with his hand.

"Do you know why you've been pulled over?" The officer asked.

"Da... The officer said I made an illegal lane change, no da."

"What are you doing out at this time of night anyway?"

The monk sent Tamahome an irritated glare before continuing, "My friend here had just gotten off work and was hungry. So we decided to head to Burger King for a bite to eat, no da."

"At this hour?"

"That's what I said!" Tasuki scoffed.

"Hey," Tamahome exclaimed while turning all the way around in his chair to face Tasuki, "When I want a burger, I want a burger!"

The second officer leaned back on his heals and folded his arms. "Sir, can I see your driver's license please?"

Chichiri was wondering when he would be asked that question. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out the leather wallet, and freed the plastic card from it's protcective sheeth. He handed it to the officer standing before him.

The second officer nodded as he accepted the license, "I'll also need your registration and proof of insurance."

The monk reached over to the glove compartment and complied with the request without a word. He knew his registration was there, and he had just paid full coverage on his insurence last month. Chichiri knew without a doubt that he could prove that car was in his name and was insured for the rest of the year.

The second officer began to check all the materials that he had asked for. It seemed everything was accurate and paid for. He decided on holding on to the monk's possessions a little longer as he spoke to him.

"I'm sorry for my partner. We've been arguing most of this night..."

"Well, I'm sorry we're stuck–"

"Shut the hell up, Tamahome," Tasuki seethed, seeming rather more nervous than usual.

The second officer looked back towards Tasuki, then at Chichiri once more before speaking.

"Would you mind if we searched your vehicle?"

At this point in time, the monk's patience was starting to thin. He wiped a tired hand over his eyes and looked slightly back at the cop.

"If I were to refuse, would you search my car anyway?"

"Well," the second officer began as he looked at the three men individually, "I couldn't do it without a search warrant of course... But it'd save us the trouble of having to wait, if you were to cooperate."

"Really?" Chichiri asked idly. He looked away with a frown etched across his face. He thought he was being cooperative enough. The monk was getting tired of this fiasco and wanted to go home. Still, the thought of being pushed around had gotten to his breaking point.

"All right then, no da," Chichiri stated as he pointed upwards with his right finger. "You may search my car if and only if you receive a search warrent–"

"Okay, if you really want to wait here that long." The second officer said with a shrug.

"I wasn't finished. I want the names of both you and your partner, what precinct you two serve under, the name of your captain and contact information, and a detailed report referring to the reason as to why I was pulled over and why you feel you should search my vehicle, no da.".

"Heh... Right," the second officer said as he turned away, carrying Chichiri's information with him.

The minute that three men, and cat, found themselves alone, silence enveloped them. Tamahome was the first to speak, though it was a complaint, no a whine, ... Probably both, the monk wasn't sure anymore...

"What gives, Chichiri? You know he's going to make us wait! I'm starving here!"

"There's a right way and wrong way to treat people that have been pulled over, " the monk stated clearly. "I've been wrongfully accused of numerous things tonight, and I feel that some justice is in order, even at the cost of your empty stomach. Honestly, Tamahome, I think you've been around Miaka for so long she's rubbed her personality onto you, no da."

Tamahome glanced away and scoffed, "You'll get that way once you're married, I promise you."

Chichiri sweat-dropped at Tamahome's retort. He coughed and glanced back at him. "In any case, we have nothing to worry about, no da. It's not like I have anything in this car that can get me in anymore trouble, no da."

"Hey, guys. This may be a bad time but," Tasuki started to state nervously after finally calming Tama down. "I have about three bags of grass in my wallet and six footballs."

Tamahome and Chichiri instantly froze and paled at this new-found news. It was the biggest "slap-in-the-face" for the night! No one knew that Tasuki was carrying so much that could have them all thrown in prison for life. Come to think of it, no one knew that Tasuki even learned how to speak "drug" language!

Just like the little girl from the movie "The Exorcist," Chichiri's head almost seemed to eerily turn all the way around to face the firey bandit. His visible eye wide and piercing with anger, his cheeks thin and milky white. The sight was so frightening that Tama and Tasuki inched as far into the back seat as they could, leaving imprints of themselves.

"Tasuki...I'm going to KILL you, no da..."

"We're in so much trouble," Tamahome stammered as he rocked in his seat. "I'll never get out alive. I'll never see Miaka again... I'll be stuck with these two clowns for the rest of my life!"

"It's your damn fault, we're in this mess!" Tasuki shouted.

"Me?" Tamahome paused; then scowled back, "Look who's talking, 'Mr. Drug-Bar!'"

"In Konan, this stuff is legal," Tasuki scoffed.

"This isn't KONAN, no da!" Chichiri joined in on the shouting.

"Mr. Ri, could you step out of the car, please?" the first officer asked from his vehicle.

Chichiri took in a heavy sigh, realizing that he was being called and stepped out of the car. He wondered if the cops had heard all of the shouting. He was certain that they were loud enough to have been heard from down the block! As he approached the officer, the man openly handed out all of the monk's information back to him and started to write one a small clipboard.

"I'm going to write you a ticket for an illegal lane change. Everything we're discussing right now is being recorded. If I can just have your signature here, " The first officer spoke, and pointed to a dotted line on the piece of paper before handing his work to Chichiri.

Chichiri almost couldn't move; he was speechless! He guessed that the cops didn't want to have to wait so long, or maybe it was the forms they had to fill out. The monk didn't know, nor did he care as long as he wasn't going to jail over something he had no knowledge over. Chichiri had never been so happy to be given a traffic ticket in his life! (And knowing Chichiri, this was a lot of traffic tickets...)

"Mr. Ri? Mr. Ri!" the first officer frown as he waved his hand in front of Chichiri's face.

"Yes, Sir!" The monk instantly jumped back, startled, "Oh... Anything you say, Sir, no da.."

Chichiri had to bite his tong from saying anything else. At this point, he was certain that all this officer had to do was change his mind and search the vehicle. Which in turn meant, searching his friends, and if they found Tasuki's wallet, they would all be in jail real soon. Trying to play it "cool," the monk quickly reached down and signed the ticket. He turned away once the transaction was completed and headed for his car.

Upon strapping himself in, Tasuki looked over to him. "What the hell happened?"

"Don't you say another word for the rest of the night, no da," Chichiri said with a warning as he started up his vehicle.


End file.
